Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem is Latin for "seize the day" 

Seize: to attack or overwhelm physically; to possess (as one's mind) completely or overwhelmingly

We hear it all the time. Seize the day, take advantage of your time, take in the moment, it's the little things that count, etc. but we, or maybe it's just me, often find ourselves saying "I can't wait for...." or "I wish this would hurry up and get here already" or even literally counting down the days until an event. I have thought similar thoughts such as these almost everyday for the past eight months of my life and now that the day is almost here, I can't help but feel some regret. While it is normal and perfectly fine to feel excited for something and wish that it would hurry up, we must be careful not to let it consume our thoughts and prevent us from, well, seizing the day. Often times it is easy to feel like we are in a waiting room or an idle period of our lives. I have felt like there have been many waiting rooms in my life and they have frustrated me. Why can't things just start now? Why must I wait for an exciting event to take place in my life? It wasn't until last Sunday I finally found some peace on the subject.

You woke up this morning, right? I'm assuming the answer is yes since you're reading this (if anyone even does read this). That wasn't by luck you got out of bed this morning. God permitted you to wake up because He is not done with you yet. You woke up this morning for a reason, for GOD's reason. God has a plan for us. We will never ever know His plan or be able to predict it, but by the simple act of allowing us to wake up today, we do know that right now at this very second we are living out His plan for us. 

A few months ago when you were waiting to hear if you got accepted into that college and it seemed like your future was kind of put on pause, God was working in your heart and in your situation according to His plan for your life. 
When you are waiting and counting down the days until Christmas break or summer, God is doing big things and working His grace, love, and mercy into your everyday. 

Our waiting rooms are often God's most productive working rooms. 

I have 35 days left in this country with my family and friends. Countless days I have woken up and thought "Gosh I can't wait for January 3rd so the great plan God has for my life can begin" or other similar thoughts. I  downloaded an app on my phone called "Countdown" that counts down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until 12:45 pm January 3rd when I get on my plane to Conakry. Last Sunday when I had my realization, I felt so convicted. I was treating these past few months as idle time in God's plan for my life.  Although I believe God created people and this earth to share and show the love He and His son have shown us to others and I will be aggressively doing that in Guinea in accordance with His plan, God didn't put me here at Appalachian State University for five months because He didn't know what else to do with me until January. He didn't put me in a waiting room and say "Hang on Emily, just wait here until you can start living out your purpose on this earth". No, He put me where I am for His reason. God is never idle. He is always working, it just may take time to see the results of His works, if we ever even actually physically see them. He has a plan for me here and just wants me to be still and let Him work through me. I have wasted so much time not taking advantage of each day and trying to rush things. I have disobeyed God's Word and not trusted in His timing. I didn't find His purpose in the place I was. By the grace of God, I have realized this and now instead of wishing the next 35 days would fly by so I can finally live out the plan God has for me, I can seize the day and find His purpose in each day. 

God is completely sovereign
God is infinite in wisdom
God is perfect in love

He's got this.
It's so frustrating feeling like you are waiting on the next best thing or for your life to start, but trust in our all knowing, all seeing, good, compassionate, loving, and faithful Father that you aren't. Your next best thing is today, right now, this second. It starts from the time you wake up until the second you fall asleep then it repeats. Take your walk with God day by day, appreciate each moment, cherish everyone and seize the day. 

Letting Go

Right now I am sitting on my bed in my favorite city in the world, Asheville, North Carolina but in 67 days I will be stepping off a plane in Conakry, Guinea. If you had told me a year ago I would be spending five months in Africa I would've questioned your sanity. My plan after graduating high school since I can remember was to go to straight to college for four years, but in March 2012 my plan came to a halt. That winter I gave into a God I didn't know and my life changed dramatically. For months I had this overwhelming feeling on my heart that God wanted me to do something else, something more with my life. I am extremely interested in the medical field and a career as a doctor of some sort (ER or Dermatology) and in February I began my search for medical based mission trips. Without a professional degree (M.D, Nursing, etc.) of some sort, it's very difficult to find a medical mission trip willing to take on, well, "extra baggage" such as myself. After countless hours of searching I stumbled on an organization called Mercy Ships. Mercy Ships is a medical based organization bringing the hope of Jesus as well as providing health care to countries all around the world. I applied as a "General Steward" and after three weeks of prayers and waiting I received an email at one in the morning while laying in bed saying I had been accepted to serve on the Africa Mercy from January 2013-May 2013. I literally broke down in tears and it was in this moment I saw just how powerful prayer is. 

How exactly does one prepare for this kind of journey? My flights have been booked, my housing has been arranged, and I'm trying to learn as much french as possible, but there is another type of preparation needed before I am ready to leave: Spiritual preparation.  I have been feeling a roller coaster of emotions for the past seven months, but one emotion that has been consistently interfering with this preparedness is fear. 

I'm terrified of this new place I'm going. I'm scared I might not be able to help these people who need it so badly. I'm scared of missing my family, friends, and country. I'm scared about feeling alone. I'm worried I might not pack enough shampoo or socks. I'm scared of traveling across the world all by myself. I'm scared of not knowing what's going to happen in my future. I'm freaking out and it's distracting me from my walk with Christ.

It wasn't until about a week ago when I realized I have NOTHING to be scared about. I am living out the plan that the GOD of the universe has created for me. He is holding me in His hands and watching over me. He brought me to where I am for a reason and is guiding me every single step of the way. He will never leave me and unlike my emotions, His love is never a roller coaster. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to deal with all of my worries and fears instead giving them to God and seeking strength and courage from Him. One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may lift you up. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I didn't realize I had been trying to deal with all of my emotions on my own until recently and it made me spiritually, emotionally, and even physically exhausted. We are God's children and He loves taking care of us. He wants nothing more than for us to run to Him with anything we are struggling with. When I had this realization, it literally felt like a 200 pound weight was lifted of my body. 

We as humans easily forget that we are not and never have been in control. We exhaust ourselves in trying to take over the reins of our lives and get caught up in trying to determine our own outcome. What if I don't get this job? What if my significant other breaks up with me? What if I get a bad grade on this test? We get so caught up and forget that God tell us to "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). God knows the plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) and when we submit to Him, we are able to live out His will for our lives. When we let go and let God our soul is restored, our minds are comforted, and our fears and worries are quieted. We all need a constant reminder of the refuge in Jesus Christ and it's not until we take shelter in Him, we are finally able to rest. 

There is no doubt in my mind there are going to be times in the next 67 days when I am going to be a wreck. Fear, worries, and doubt will grab hold of me again, but I need only to seek the face of The Lord and lean not on my understanding and He will make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)